Eli Kalb, also known as "Chalupa," "Cap," or "Hov," is the captain and one of the tri-founders of the Flamingos. Kalb is known for his freakish height and his daddy-long-leg-esque legs, let him move quickly to the ball and strike through it. He enjoys spending time with family and friends as well as scoring goals on goals on goals. A fun fact about Eli is that he once scored a 39% on a math quiz.
Dawaun Hardy, also known as "Africa," "Django," or "Shmurda," is the best goalkeeper in the state. He was recently asked to play for Real Madrid, but turned them down to pursue his life long dream of becoming a singer. The Squad always looks forward to Shmurda's rap bars, whether it's after a big win, or before the game. Hardy's name is not a coincidence, he really goes Hard. A fun fact about Dawaun is that he enjoys eating ketchup in cold showers.
Gillian Orlando-Milbauer, also known as "Ginga-Ninja," is one of the most aggressive players on the Flamingos. She'll claw your eyes out if provoked, so don't mess with her. Don't let her tough exterior fool you, she's a sweetheart down there somewhere. For some reason, Gillian knows someone on every team the Flamingos play, which gives her the personal motivation to succeed. Gillian powered through a tough knee injury last year, but is rejuvenated and ready to start a fresh season. A fun fact about Gillian is that she ate too many carrots growing up, causing her hair to turn a fiery orange color, which matches the fire in her heart for the Flamingo Squad.
Izzy Trask, also known as "Iggy," is the final new member of the Flamingos. She is number 7, because she has seven platinum albums for her album series "Nails on a Chalkboard," which is literally just nails scraping across a chalkboard for many minutes straight. How they went platinum is beyond me, but in the end, who cares? Izzy is a pure soccer player, plain and simple. She can run miles on end without breaking a sweat and will give up at nothing in order to give the team a chance to win. A fun fact about Izzy is that her real name is Horse McGee, but changed her name legally in 1974.
Peter Rhodes, also known as "Peta Roadz," is one of the assistant coaches for the Flamingos. Peter is legally blind, but a soccer legend, so he can still coach using his imagination. Peter has killed six people, all during one soccer game. Peter also deals steroids on the side, which he injects into his own body before every game to make him a better coach. Peter enjoys tea and crumpets after a hot shower. A fun fact about Peter is that he can transmogrify into a reptile when threatened.
Nicky Rhodes, also known as "Sickly Toads," "Llama," or "Chickly," is another one of the tri-founders. Rhodes is known for his llama-like hair and his ability to score goals. Nicky was tied for the top goal scorer in the 2014 season along with Kalb. Nicky's goals are set high for the upcoming season, and believes nothing will stop him from being the best. A fun fact about Nicky is that he aspire to be a Power Ranger when he grows up.
Gustavo Chavez, also known as "Goose," is one of the more intelligent players on the team. With a soccer IQ over 200, he is a registered "soccer genius." Goose is constantly picking his teammates up and they love it. Don't let his size fool you, he is a constant threat to score, and cannot be ignored, or he'll make you pay. A fun fact about Gustavo is that his name is spelled with two O's and an E.
Allie Gregoire, also known as "A. Gregz," or "Ducky," is a key player for the Flamingos. Known for her stealthy playing style, Gregoire is not flashy, but instead quietly racks up goals like nobody's business. Allie recently received the award for "most likely to marry a duck" at the 2013 Grammy Awards. A fun fact about Allie is that she killed her first (and hopefully last) pet when she was eight. She had a gerbil and she sat on it. It died instantly. May it rest in peace.
Wolf Kalb, also known as "Coach K," is the most infamous coach in the sport of Futsal. He is remembered for bribing a referee before a game and then letting an army of rabies ridden, half-dead squirrels out onto the court. He has been re-admitted into an insane asylum a total of 47 times in his four-year career. Wolf has said that he knows and accepts that he lives in his brother's shadow, but is alright with it. If you see Wolf Kalb walking down the street you should not only cross the street, but probably call 911 immediately. A fun fact about Wolf is that in order to have his name changed to Wolf, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts sent him into the forest and forced him to live with wolves for three weeks, which has been a major cause of his decaying mental health.
Robert Edward Mast III, also known as "B," "Ship," or "Robes," is the final member of the Trifecta of founding fathers. Mast enjoys biting his nails, and refilling his soda before he leaves restaurants. Known for his aggressive play and complete and total disregard for the referee, he is an intregal part of the team. He fires the team up when they need it, and is always ready for a fight. A fun fact about Robes is that
Bella Conway, also known as "Ireland," or "#1 Biscuit" was the first draft pick in the 2007 National Futsal Draft. Known for her sass, as well as her biscuit-like qualities, she has earned the title of #1 Biscuit at Brookline High School, a coveted award. Biscuit is not afraid to get her hands dirty when it comes to playing futsal. Get in her way and you'll be sorry. A fun fact about Bella is that she dated Robes for a while, which has caused quite a bit of tension between them both on and off the court. They are currently attending couples therapy, trying to work out their issues.
Maya Chan, also known as "2 Chans," is one of the two new players for the Flamingos. Her small size let's her cut through defenders without being noticed, like a ninja. Like Goose, you can't let 2 Chans size deceive you, because she is one of the fiercest competitors out there. A fun fact about Maya is that she was once mistaken as rapper 2 Chainz, which is where her nickname comes from.
Michael Kirk, also known as "Mikey," is the original coach of the Flamingos, until Wolf Kalb threatened to fill his entire house with human fingernails from floor to roof if he did not give the job to Kalb. Kirk has actually won 14 Emmy Awards (you can look it up), and was told by the award giver that if he won one more Emmy they would have to name it after him. A fun fact about Michael is that he has broken his nose 7 times.